Grief Counselling in Ontario: What Is It, What Helps, and Where Can You Find Free Support?

Grief counselling is support from a trained professional to help you carry a loss, make sense of what you feel, and slowly find a way to live alongside it. In Ontario you can get it privately from a Registered Psychotherapist, including online from home, and there are also free options through peer groups, hospices, 211 and employee assistance programs. You do not need to be "not coping" to deserve it. Grief is reason enough.

Below, we share what we see in our work with grieving people across Ontario: what people tend to say in a first session, the myths we gently correct, how counselling actually works, and where to find support, including free options.

What Does Grief Actually Feel Like?

Grief is rarely just sadness. The Canadian Mental Health Association describes it as shock, anger, fear, anxiety, numbness, and sometimes even relief, often all mixed together (CMHA: Grieving). It shows up in the body too: broken sleep, a tight chest, foggy thinking, forgetting why you walked into a room.

When people come to us for grief, the first session often sounds something like this:

• "Everyone thinks I should be over it by now."
• "I am fine at work, then I fall apart in the car."
• "I keep replaying the last weeks. I should have done something differently."
• "I don't even feel sad. I just feel numb, and that scares me."
• "I'm the strong one in my family. I don't have anywhere to put this."

A common pattern we see: someone loses a parent after a long illness, spends months managing the funeral, the estate and everyone else's feelings, and only six months later, when life goes quiet, does the grief really land. That delay is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is very human.

What Myths About Grief Get in the Way?

"Grief happens in five neat stages"

The five stages were never meant to be a checklist, and most people do not move through them in order. Grief tends to come in waves, sometimes years later, around birthdays, holidays or new milestones.

"Moving on means letting go"

Research on "continuing bonds" shows that many people stay connected to the person they lost through memories, rituals and values they carry forward. Healthy grieving is often about finding a new kind of relationship with that person, not cutting the tie.

"If I stop crying, I didn't love them enough"

Laughing, working, or having a good day does not betray anyone. In our view, these moments are part of healing, not a sign you have forgotten.

"Only death counts as grief"

You can grieve a divorce, a pregnancy loss, a diagnosis, a career, a friendship, or the life you had before you moved countries. These losses are real, and they deserve care too.

How Does Grief Counselling Work, Session to Session?

Grief counselling is not about fixing you or rushing you. It is a steady, private place to tell the story of your loss, at your pace, with someone who is not also grieving it.

The first few sessions

We start by listening. Who did you lose, or what changed? What has the time since been like? How are you sleeping, eating and getting through the day? We also ask about your support, your culture and beliefs, and any earlier losses that this one may be stirring up.

The middle of the work

Two well-known models shape how many grief counsellors, including us, think about this part:

• The dual process model. Stroebe and Schut describe healthy grieving as moving back and forth between facing the loss (remembering, feeling, crying) and attending to life (work, routines, new roles), and taking breaks from grief altogether (Stroebe and Schut, 1999). We find this very freeing for clients who worry they are "not grieving enough" when they have a normal afternoon.
• Worden's tasks of mourning. Accepting the reality of the loss, working through the pain, adjusting to a world without the person, and finding an enduring connection while moving forward with life.

Within that frame, we may draw on gentle tools from cognitive behavioural therapy for guilt and "what if" thinking, acceptance and commitment therapy for making room for pain, and meaning-making work such as letters to the person, memory projects, or planning how to mark a hard anniversary. If the loss was sudden or traumatic, we pay close attention to safety and pacing, because shock and trauma can sit on top of grief.

Toward the end

Over time, many people notice the waves come less often or feel less overwhelming. We talk about what you want to carry forward, how to handle future triggers, and how you will know if you want to come back for a check-in.

If you are curious what this looks like with us, our page on online grief counselling in Ontario explains how we work and what to expect.

When Is It Time to Get Support for Grief?

Most grief does not need "treatment." According to the American Psychological Association, many people gradually adjust to a loss with time and support from others (APA: Grief). But you do not have to wait until things are unbearable. Counselling can help when:

• You feel alone with it, or the people around you are grieving too and cannot hold your grief.
• Guilt, anger or "what ifs" keep looping and will not settle.
• Sleep, appetite, work or parenting have been hard for weeks.
• The loss was sudden, violent, or traumatic.
• You are avoiding everything that reminds you of the person, or cannot think about anything else.
• An old loss has resurfaced with a new one.

What is prolonged grief disorder?

For a smaller group of people, grief stays intense and disabling for a long time. The DSM-5-TR now includes prolonged grief disorder, which for adults involves intense longing for or preoccupation with the person at least 12 months after the loss, along with symptoms like identity disruption, disbelief, emotional numbness or feeling life is meaningless, that significantly affect daily life (American Psychiatric Association: Prolonged Grief Disorder). Registered Psychotherapists do not diagnose, so if this sounds familiar, speak with your family doctor or nurse practitioner as well. Therapy can still help a great deal.

Grief and depression can also overlap. If low mood has spread to everything, not just thoughts of your loss, our page on depression therapy online may be helpful.

If you are having thoughts of suicide or wanting to join the person who died, please call or text 9-8-8, or call 911. You deserve immediate support.

Where Can You Find Free Grief Counselling in Ontario?

Private counselling is not the only path, and we would always rather you get support than go without. Here are honest, free or low-cost options in Ontario:

• Bereaved Families of Ontario. Free peer support groups led by trained volunteers who have experienced a similar loss, with local affiliates in communities across Ontario. Peer support is not therapy, but feeling understood by others who have been there is powerful.
• Hospice bereavement programs. Many Ontario hospices offer free grief groups and one-on-one support, often open to the wider community, not only families whose loved one died in their care. Hospice Palliative Care Ontario can help you find hospices near you.
• Ontario 211. Call or text 2-1-1, or search online, to find local grief groups, community counselling and sliding-scale agencies.
• Your local CMHA branch. Many Canadian Mental Health Association branches offer free or low-cost counselling and can point you to grief resources in your area.
• Your employer's EAP. Employee and family assistance programs often include a few free, confidential counselling sessions. It is worth checking, even if you have never used it.
• MyGrief.ca. Free online modules created by Canadian grief experts, helpful at 2 a.m. when no one else is awake.

Free programs can have waitlists or set schedules. Private counselling can usually start sooner and focus entirely on your loss. Many people use both.

Is Online Grief Counselling a Good Fit?

We work only online, by secure video, with people anywhere in Ontario. With grief in particular, we see real benefits. You can talk from your own couch with a blanket and a photo of your person nearby. There is no drive home with swollen eyes. And on the days when getting dressed feels impossible, you can still show up.

Grieving from afar

Many of the families we work with are immigrants, including many Spanish-speaking families. A common and painful pattern: a parent dies in another country, and you watch the funeral on a phone screen, unable to travel, then return to work the next day in a place where no one knew them. That kind of loss can feel unreal and very lonely. Grieving in your first language, with someone who understands rituals like a novena or a Día de los Muertos altar, can make room for feelings that do not translate. We offer sessions in English and Spanish.

Grief in families

Grief can pull a family closer or quietly apart. Parents often ask how to help a child or teen who is grieving differently from them. There is no minimum age to work with us, and for anyone under 18 a parent or guardian is involved. When the whole household is struggling, family counselling online can help everyone grieve together.

Who Provides Grief Counselling at Buena Vita Therapy?

Our Registered Psychotherapists are regulated by the College of Registered Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO).

• Agustina Jorquera, Ed.D., M.Ed., RP supports individuals as well as families, parents, teens and couples, including families grieving together.
• Maria J. Chuburu, BA, MA, RP supports adults, including adults whose grief is intertwined with recovery work.

We provide receipts you can submit to your extended health plan. You can start with a free 15-minute consult to see whether we feel like the right fit, with no pressure to continue. Please note that we are not a crisis service. In an emergency, call or text 9-8-8 or call 911.

Frequently Asked Questions

You Do Not Have to Carry This Alone

There is no right way to grieve and no deadline for feeling better. If you would like someone to walk alongside you, book a free 15-minute consult or contact us with any question.

Book my free 15-minute consult

This article is general information only. It is not medical advice or a diagnosis, and it is not a substitute for professional care. The examples above describe common patterns, not real clients.